before you get all upset at my choice of title
for this post
I am referring to this little gem
Dear Stay At Home Moms Shut The Efff Up
that I found a link someone shared on Facebook this week.
This is something I am really,
sick of hearing.
The article basically says
that because stay at home moms are doing
what every other mom wishes she could,
(which isn’t true there are lots of moms who do not wish to stay home)
that we should shut up and never complain.
let me tell you something,
LET SHE WHO HAS NEVER COMPLAINED ABOUT HER JOB, UNIFORM, OR BOSS THROW THE FIRST STONE.
Why do working moms feel like they have the right to judge a stay at home mom?
Why does a stay at home mom feel like she can judge a working mom?
Why does a work from home mother feel the need to put down a mom who is a full time homemaker only?
This is the war on woman
and we are fighting against ourselves.
It’s not a about contraceptives,
it’s not about making the same amount of money as men,
it’s about how we treat each other.
I think there is an epidemic of
I want what she has.
I want a bigger house,
I want granite countertops,
I want a cleaner home,
I want to be crafty,
I want to cook,
I want more time to myself,
I want to stay home,
I want a great career,
I need more help,
Do you know what the only difference between you
and the woman who has what you want?
She didn’t settle for less she settled for more.
There is a little Megyn Kelly thrown at cha.
Settle for more.
If you want to stay home
quit getting mad at stay at home moms
who don’t meet your expectations of gratefulness.
Get to working on how you can make it happen.
Focus on YOU.
Because if you really want something
you can make it happen.
Not right away
you may have to work for it for years.
And if you don’t want to do something
then own it.
There is nothing wrong with providing for your family.
There is nothing wrong leaving your child in the care of someone you trust
to do work that makes you a happy, fulfilled person.
Because that is what it is really about.
Our kids don’t need stay at home moms
or working mothers,
or work from home moms,
they need moms who are happy and thriving.
We are never going to thrive
throwing stones at each other.
And the men are going to continue to make more
and progress further in their careers
because we are too busy bickering
and being envious,
instead of doing something to change our circumstances.
It’s easier to sit still and complain about someone else
then it is to be grateful for what you have and work for more.
I won’t shut the efff up.
I am a full time homemaker.
I stay home sometimes all week
never leaving the house except to go to walmart,
looking a mess,
counting to 10 over and over again,
teaching that blue is not purple,
getting bodily fluids on a great outfit
which is why we end up in yoga pants
and then complain about it.
Because we would love to wear something cute
but when you are home all day,
vacuuming and playing pirates,
you would love to look like Heidi Klum while doing it
but lets be real
it’s just not practical.
But sometimes it wears on you.
Sometimes you get in a rut.
Sometimes it’s a hard job even though its what you love doing.
So does that mean that you have to just keep your mouth shut and never complain?
That’s just not realistic.
Stay at home moms,
work from home moms,
working outside the home moms,
we all face problems,
we all have terrible days,
we all think there are times when we could do better.
Let’s quit holding each other to different standards
let’s quit thinking about ourselves
when someone else says they had a bad day.
Let’s start encouraging each other.
If you are a working mom and
a stay at home mom friend is having a hard time.
Give her encouragement.
Tell her that sometimes getting out helps you and that is why you work.
Maybe she needs to get out for a mani/pedi
or a lunch with the girls,
or start a little side business to be happy.
Let’s help each other
not tell each other to shut up.
We are suppose to motherly,
full of compassion,
and we are treating each other terribly.
I have a cousin who works.
She doesn’t work because she has to.
She works because she wants to.
She has never treated me different because I stay at home.
In fact she does the opposite.
When she needed a babysitter
and we were low on money
she asked me to watch the kids when her daycare was on vacation.
I make her son’s preschool class treats sometimes because I am crafty and love stuff like that
and she loves it and pays me!
And it’s something fun for me!
And she loves the stuff I make
she isn’t all
“I wish I was crafty”
she enjoys the fact that I am and the time I saved her.
I have the her kids stay the night for movie night
so she and her husband can get out
and sleep in.
We both complain together about how hard kids are,
how they make you worry,
how much you love them and want the world to treat them good,
how husband can be annoying and say stupid things (sorry guys}
our work differences has never been a topic of discussion
or cause for awkwardness.
I mostly attribute this to the fact that we both own our choices.
My choice to stay home doesn’t make her feel guilty
and her choice to work doesn’t make me feel like less of an important person in the world or less intelligent.
We work together to help each other be better moms.
It’s a great relationship of give and take.
So I ask-
Why are we fighting each other so much????
Why are we so adamant to prove our way is the only way
instead of accepting there are many ways to do one thing?
We are never all going to be the same,
there will always be someone with something you don’t,
doing something you can’t.
Let’s not focus on that.
Let’s focus on what we can do.
We can do things to improve our life.
We can work towards things we want.
And the first step is to quit thinking about what everyone else has or is doing
and get to work
on what you want done in life.
don’t shut the effff up,
get to work.
Expect more from yourself
not someone else
and quit judging the mom to your left and to your right.
It has to stop.