of talking about moving,
we actually are!!!!!!!
in two weeks.
I just threw up a little….
I need to get back on packing.
But as a person who has moved over 30 times in my life span,
I know my process…
Step one: make a plan to move—feelings of excitement and imaging the future
Step two: follow through with actual plan to move like sell a house, rent a new one—more feelings of excitement and imaging the future
Step three: prepare to move—at first feelings of excitement rapidly turning into sentimental sapping about every nook an cranny.
Step four: procrastination and hesitation.
It is always scary-
Not bad scary.
It is a new beginning.
And it is time for this move I know that.
But I still love this house.
I fell in love in this house.
We came home to this house after our wedding
with a new baby.
So many dreams and happy times were realized here.
It has good juju
and great memories.
I love it.
I know every corner,
And I wonder
will the new owners love it
like it deserves?
Will they take care of it like I have?
The truth is probably not.
They will do what they want with it.
It will no longer be mine.
And it makes me sad.
I took pictures of Charlie playing out front.
Like we always do.
So we can say hi to puppies,
and watch kids ride by on bikes,
and say hello to walkers who pass.
I love this neighborhood
I don’t love felons hiding in my back yard
(story for another day)
I love this neighborhood.
It has a park 3 blocks away.
It is ethnically diverse,
Charlie goes to the park and plays with a little girl who she has named Mulan.
They love each other,
running all over the park
trying to boss each other around.
Completely unaware that they speak different languages
or look any different.
I love that.
I will miss all this.
Then I start to wonder…
will I be lonely out in the country?
Will I miss watching people walk by all day,
all kinds of people…
stay at home dads,
hippies who walk barefoot,
elderly people out for fresh air,
the lady who has three dogs and a cat that always follows behind,
my mailman who I adore and watches out for me and the safety of Charlie by turning in drug dealers and
who I trade recipes with and gossip about neighbors with.
I wonder if anyone will ever live in the house across the street that has been vacant the entire 6 years I have been here.
Someone takes care of it,
works on it,
mows the lawn and prunes the bushes
but it sits empty and alone.
It has always made me sad.
I know this entire place inside and out.
I have watched this world for 6 years
and I will miss it.
But now I must think about my new world.
Full of cow pastures,
and fields that go on for miles and miles,
of gardens full of fresh veggies,
SO MANY ANIMALS!!!
all the time.
Something new and fresh.
I want to live more simply
and use my hands more.
I think too much of life is about convenience,
not taking the time to do the little things,
make our food,
have quiet moments instead of constant go-go-go.
I got rid of my microwave in January.
actually it started a small fire inside,
so we threw it out.
At first we thought we would replace it
but as the weeks passed
I realized how often I was using it
just to save time.
It made the food taste terrible.
It is not a great way to thaw meat.
It zaps 30% of the nutrition out of your food.
It just isn’t necessary
and so I learned how to reheat food without it.
I learned how to make popcorn without it.
It takes a little more time
but it tastes so much better.
And it made me really think-
are we in such a hurry in life that we even have to have 30 second food?
I want to slow down.
I want to savor life.
I want to be attached to what I eat.
I want to make a wonderful quality of life
and appreciate the sacrifice of an animal to give my family nourishment.
Too much of life comes in packages.
I want to get away from that.
Not completely amish
gotta have my blow dryer
but I also don’t want to reside in this world of iPads for babies,
electronic toys for toddlers,
learning and sports
and music and activities pushed from age 2 and up.
We are rushing our kids too much
and making them grow up too fast.
We are on the go to much.
This is not how a childhood is meant to be spent-
driving from event to even to event.
I want Charlie to get dirty,
to play with imaginary friends under the pine trees outside,
to run free all summer
with popsicle stained mouth,
with her kitties,
and skinned up knees
and collections of lightening bugs
and earthworms in jars.
I don’t want to follow the flow.
I want to live free and simple.
And this is that beginning.
I am calling it Ingleside.
After Anne’s adult home from Anne of Green Gables.
It’s a dreamy little world and one I hope to replicate.
it is a little 2 acre farm we are renting.
It has 2 cows,
a chicken coop,
tons of space,
and a farmhouse full of charm and potential.
It is my little slice of heaven
for me to start making my dreams of a more simple life
I think learning comes naturally for kids,
in counting how many baby chicks we have.
In spelling out vegetable names as we mark the garden rows.
In routine and responsibility of caring of other living things.
Learning doesn’t to be a competition or standards to keep up with,
it can just be life.
Living it side by side.
Teaching in little moments,
all through out the day.
Teaching that learning is not something that you only get in school
but also from life
that it doesn’t start and end with
that it continues on forever.
That we always need to be learning,
to help us move on to that next part of our life.
We must always be learning.
So I will learn this new life.
Just as I have learned this life at 906.
I will learn this farm life
and I will teach it to my daughter.
I look forward to these next years.
The ones that will stick out in Charlie’s mind about her childhood.
It is mine to create.
What kind of world do I want her to remember?
Isn’t that what being a mother really is?
Crafting a childhood worth remembering.
Full of memories,
and little moments of lots of love?
I hope that is what the next years bring
Meet Lady Gaga and Cher
our moo cows.
They will both be having babies this fall.
We can’t wait and I am hoping to assist in the birth…
I just said that.
I am hoping to help a cow have a baby.
How the heck did I go from Manhattan and fashion week parties to possible cow labor assistant?!?
It is a funny life I live.
But I wouldn’t trade it for anything.